There's a whole array of things. From personal experience, smothering, controlling behavior like having to know where your partner is going and with whom. But feeling smothered in your marriage is a real issue that many of us don't want if you spend as much time as possible together, the relationship will get better. After six years on my own, following the breakdown of a relationship that broke my heart, I am seeing a guy now. He is the loveliest, kindest.
I tried to assure him that I had, and that maybe I was just being cautious. In the early days, we argued because I felt he was smothering me. He would text and phone every few hours, and if I didn't sound happy to hear from him, he'd constantly want to know what was wrong, or ask why I didn't want to talk to him. We'd discuss it at length, with me explaining that I wasn't always chirpy in the mornings, or couldn't talk at work, or whatever.
I also explained that I didn't want to feel I had to contact him every few hours, but preferred to do so when I felt I wanted to. And I asked him to back off, which he did and all that is now fine.
Three months into our relationship we were discussing a male friend of mine, someone I had known platonically for over 12 years, a man whom all our friends thought I should be with, but whom I never saw as attractive.
On one weekend, though, it did go further. We never mentioned it again, and have remained friends. Anyway, we had met this man earlier in the evening, I introduced him to my boyfriend, and they didn't click. During the discussion about him that night I omitted to tell my boyfriend that there had been any intimacy between me and this guy.
My boyfriend, however, asked me straight out -- and I denied it. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Yes, I know it was a lie, but I knew how sensitive he was and wanted to spare him -- which I'm sure was wrong. He persisted, however, telling me to look him straight in the eye, and I then told him the truth. I will never forget the look on his face. He went pale and I thought he would die with anger.
I felt so bad causing him such pain, and apologised, but he wouldn't listen. To this day, he says he can't trust me because I lied and he can't accept my reason for doing so.
He says the whole relationship changed that night. A relationship without trust isn't worth anything -- we both know that.
6 Undeniable Signs Your Partner Is Suffocating You
We had endless discussions and arguments in which I pointed out that I'm just not the unfaithful type and he sort of acknowledged that he should be able to trust me. Last weekend, however, we were walking home together in our small town, very happy, and I saw two good-looking men who were strangers and just remarked that I wondered who they were.
My boyfriend was really offended, said it was a strange thing to ask, and I then frantically tried to find some other reason for my comment because I knew he felt I was only interested because of their looks. In fact, the comment just slipped out, because I should have known better, being only too aware of how he would take it. He hardly spoke for the next hour until I finally prized it out of him that he felt I didn't respect him.
6 Undeniable Signs Your Partner Is Suffocating You
He said I also embarrassed him as I was staring at the blokes, that I just couldn't stop myself and that I would never change.
He says I'm still single in my head and irresponsible.
I love my boyfriend and want a future with him. But I feel deep down that he will never trust me, that I will always have to watch what I say and do, that I will never be allowed to be me.
He's constantly telling me that my actions are rude and thoughtless and careless of his feelings. I know I can be all over the place and say what comes into my head, but I am loyal. At the beginning, he used to say that one of the things he loved about me was my enthusiasm. Now it seems that it will end up killing our relationship.
I would be devastated all over again if this relationship ended. But to me something as fundamental as trust is missing and I just don't know what to do. Is there any hope for us? AYour boyfriend has you in the dock. You're constantly having to defend yourself.
You are constantly having to prove you love him. You're constantly worried about how he will react -- to anything, however small. And your boyfriend has you there. This isn't about fundamental trust being missing between you. It's about the fact that your boyfriend is in serious emotional trouble -- and it's not your fault. He's had this trouble since forever.
And by the way, I don't believe for one moment that he never had arguments until he met you. Maybe his ex-wife -- and any other ex-girlfriends -- didn't fight back. But there was certainly trouble.
That's why they're gone. You start having these useless fights about the last time you were seen online. This can be, and usually is, related to jealousy. However, this can also be a sign of his controlling and possessive nature. He is being too clingy and needy. He wants your full attention and understanding for all of his needs. On the other hand, he might not be so understanding when it comes to your requirements.
This is just selfish. Other indicators of his clingy and needy nature could be his constant complaints about this and that. Especially about not spending quality time together. He could also start making up illnesses just to stop you from going somewhere without him. God forbid if you have some fun time and he is not there. You are making excuses not to spend time with him Last but not least, sign number 6 comes as an outcome of all or some of the issues listed previously.
You are starting to lie and make excuses not to meet with your partner.Stop Smothering Me!
After reading this, take a good and deep look into yourself and see what your current state is. If one or more of these signs are integral parts of your relationship, you should reconsider and make some decisions. Generally, there are two possible decisions: In either case, you should be honest.
First with yourself, then with your partner. State your opinion clearly. Give exact examples in which situations you found his behavior inappropriate or suffocating. Make him realize that by giving you space, he is actually bringing you closer.