Meet the Fockers () - Robert De Niro as Jack Byrnes - IMDb
View Quote You're a big, bad C.I.A. man, huh? . Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of. Film Meet the Parents Author Jim Herzfeld Role Jack Byrnes Actor Robert De Niro. I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born. But cats make you work for their affection. They don't sell out the way dogs do."-- Jack Byrnes, Robert DeNiro's character in Meet the Parents.
Meet the Parents quotes
A dog is very easy to break, but cats make you work for their affection. They don't sell out the way dogs do. Oh, honey, why don't you read Greg your poem?
Oh, no, he doesn't want to hear that. You see, when Jack had to retire That's a bunch of malarky. The doctor thought it would be therapeutic if he Honey, you wrote the most beautiful poem about your mother. Please, we really wanna hear it. It's a work in progress. I'm still not happy with it. As soon as it's ready, then I am going to glaze it onto a plate You gave me life, you gave me milk, you gave me courage.
Your name was Angela, the angel from heaven, but you were also an angel of God, and He needed you too. Selfishly I tried to keep you here But I couldn't save you, and I shall see your face It always gets me.
So-So--So much love, yet also so much information. You must've had vegetables fresher than that, growing up on a farm, Greg. Dad, uh, Greg grew up in Detroit.
He told me he grew up on a farm. Do they have many farms in Detroit?
- Robert De Niro: Jack Byrnes
No, Dina, no, not a lot. In fact, Jack, I should clarify this. I didn't actually grow up The house we grew up in was originally erected So that, plus we had a lot of pets-- Jack: Which one did you milk then?
Honey, he said he pumped milk. What have you ever milked? I mean, were you ever breastfed? My guess is no. Will you spare my the drugstore pyschology.
Everybody just STOP, okay? Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. I went to answer the phone, I was gone for a second, I came back, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle.
Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truely important.
Do you know what that is? Let me put it very simply.
Meet the Parents () - Robert De Niro as Jack Byrnes - IMDb
If your family's circle does indeed join my family's circle, they'll form a chain. I can't have a chink in my chain. We use the Ferber method. We use the Focker method.
We hugged and kissed that little boy like there was no tomorrow. I'm not so sure this wedding is such a good idea. I don't like what I'm seeing from these Fockers. Jack, tell me one smart thing the C. I will give you the deed to her house. Are you physically gonna take my bag beneath the plane? Are you gonna go with the guys with the earmuffs and put it in there? Then shut your pie hole Sir, we have a policy on this airline that if a bag is this large, we— Greg: Get your grubby little paws off of my bag, okay?
It's not like I have a bomb in here. It's not like I want to blow up the plane. I wanna stow my bag according to your safety regulations. If you would take a second All I wanna do is hold onto my bag and not listen to you! The only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here now If you can get it from my kung fu grip, then you can have it. Otherwise, step off, bitch.
I have a plane full of people telling me you threatened that stewardess. I was not threatening her, I was just trying to get my bag in the overhead storage thing.
Norm the Security Guard: You were acting like a maniac and then you threaten her with a bomb. No, I said I didn't have a bomb. I said it's not like I had a bomb on an airplane. You said bomb on an airplane. What's wrong with saying bomb on an airplane? You can't say bomb on an airplane.
A co-worker of Norm's comes in.
We've got a specialist. How'd you get here? I didn't do anything, Jack. Well, then tell these guys that I'm not a terrorist. I'm not gonna tell anybody anything until you answer some questions. Unless you want to spend the next couple of years of your life in prison, you better goddamn well tell me the truth. Did you do this?
Comedic Monologue for Men - Robert De Niro as Jack Byrnes in Meet the Parents | monologuedb
Just answer the questions. Did you have me taken off of that airplane?
Just answer the question. Put your hands over there. You're sick, you know that?
Meet the Parents, Jack Byrnes
Is your name Gaylord Focker? Are you a male nurse? Are you a pothead? Have you ever smoked pot? And you did that because you were desperately seeking my approval?