Questions You Should Ask Before Marriage | LoveToKnow
Try working through these questions, which can open up Intimacy in the marriage or partner relationship can seem to suffer when our families. Marriage is a big step in a relationship. It signifies the commitment and love you have for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. But love. Do you have children from previous marriages or non-marital relationships? What is your relationship with them? How do you see your relationship with them in.
Do you have a difficult time setting limits with family? Have you identified the childhood wound that may have sabotaged your relationships in the past—the deeply imprinted fear that made you want to escape? How were you most hurt in your family; and who hurt you? How did your parents settle conflicts when you were a child? Do people in your family carry long-term grudges? How much influence do your parents still have over your decisions? Have unresolved or ongoing family issues ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?
Do you see a close friend or friends at least once a week? Do you speak to any of your friends on the phone every day? Are your friendships as Important to you as your life partner is? If your friends need you, are you there for them? Is it important to you for your partner to accept and like your friends? Is it important that you and your partner have friends in common?
Do you have a difficult time setting limits with friends? Has a partner ever been responsible for breaking up a friendship?
Have friends ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Are you an animal lover? Do you have a dog, cat, or other beloved pet? Have you ever been physically aggressive with an animal? Have you deliberately hurt an animal? Do you believe a person should give up his or her pet if it interferes with the relationship? Do you consider pets members of your family?
Have disagreements about pets ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservatives, or do you reject political labels? What was the attitude in your family about political involvement and social action? Do you belong to a political party?
Are you actively involved? Did you vote in the last presidential election? Do you believe that two people of differing political ideologies can have a successful marriage? Do you believe that the political system is skewed against people of color, poor people, and the disenfranchised?
Which political issues do you care about? Has politics ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Is it important for you to be involved in your local community? Do you like having a close relationship with your neighbors? For example, would you give a neighbor a spare key to your home? Do you regularly participate in community projects? Do you believe that good fences make good neighbors? Have you ever had a serious dispute with a neighbor? Do you take pains to be considerate of your neighbors for example, keeping a lid on loud music, barking dogs, etc.
How important is it to you to contribute time or money to charity? Which kind of charities do you like to support? How much of your annual income do you donate to charity? Have attitudes about charitable contributions ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Have you served in the military? Have your parents or other relatives served in the military? Would you want your children to serve in the military? Do you personally identify more with a nonviolent approach, or with making change through military force and action?
Has military service or attitudes about military service ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Do you consider yourself a law-abiding person? Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it? Have you ever been arrested?
If yes, for what? Have you ever been in jail? Have you ever been involved in a legal action or lawsuit? If yes, what were the circumstances? Have you ever been the victim of a violent crime? If yes, describe what happened. Have you ever failed to pay child support? Have legal or criminal issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
Where do you get your news for example, TV news programs, radio, newspapers, newsmagazines, the Internet, friends? Do you believe what you read and see in the news, or do you question where information is coming from and what the true agenda is?
Do you seek out media with diverse perspectives on the news? Have media differences ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Do you believe in God? What does that mean to you? Do you have a current religious affiliation?
Is it a big part of your life? When you were growing up, did your family belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque? Do you currently practice a different religion from the one in which you were raised?
Do you believe in life after death? Does your religion impose any behavioral restrictions dietary, social, familial, sexual that would affect your partner? Do you consider yourself a religious person?
Do you engage in spiritual practices outside of organized religion? How important is it to you for your partner to share your religious beliefs? How important is it to you for your children to be raised in your religion? Is spirituality a part of your daily life and practice? Has religion or spiritual practice ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Does popular culture have an important impact on your life? Do you spend time reading about, watching, or discussing actors, musicians, models, or other celebrities?
Do you think most celebrities have a better, more exciting life than you do? By the way, if they do, maybe it's because they are living their lives, while you are watching them live their lives. Are you wasting the opportunity and gift to live your own life?
Relationship Questions & Answers - Marriage Forum
Do you regularly go to the movies, or do you prefer to rent movies and watch them at home? What is your favorite style of music? Do you attend concerts featuring your favorite musicians?
Do you enjoy going to museums or art shows? Do you like to dance?
Do you like to watch TV for entertainment? Have attitudes or behaviors around popular culture ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? What is your idea of a fun day? Do you enjoy spectator sports? Are certain seasons off-limits for other activities because of football, baseball, basketball, or other sports?
How important is it to you that you and your partner enjoy the same leisure activities? How much money do you regularly spend on leisure activities? Do you enjoy activities that might make your partner uncomfortable, such as hanging out in bars drinking, going to strip clubs, or gambling? Have leisure time issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Is it important for you to attend social events regularly, or does the prospect rarely appeal to you? Do you look forward to at least one night out every week, or do you prefer to enjoy yourself at home?
Does your work involve attending social functions? If so, are these occasions a burden or a pleasure? Do you expect your spouse to be present, or do you prefer that your spouse not be present?
Or do you socialize with a diverse mix of people? Have differences about socializing ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Which if any holidays do you believe are the most important to celebrate? Do you maintain a family tradition around certain holidays? How important are birthday celebrations to you? Do you enjoy traveling, or are you a homebody? Are vacation getaways an important part of your yearly planning? How much of your annual income do you designate for vacation and travel expenses?
Do you have favorite vacation destinations? Do you believe it's wasteful to spend money on vacations to distant places? Do you think it's important to have a passport?
To speak a foreign language? Have disputes about travel and vacation ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? What is your level of formal education? Is your education a source of pride or shame? Do you regularly sign up for courses that interest you, or enroll in advanced-learning programs that will help you in your career or profession? Have disparities in education ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or ended a relationship?
How do you feel about private school education for children? Do you have a limit on how much you would be willing to invest in private school education? Have education levels or priorities ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
Do you own or lease a car? Would you ever consider not having a car? Is the year, make, and model of the car you drive important to you?
276 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY
Are fuel efficiency and environmental protection factors when you choose a car? Given the availability of reliable public transportation, would you prefer not to drive a car at all? How much time do you spend maintaining and caring for your vehicle?
Are you reluctant to let others drive your car? How long is your daily commute? Is it by bus, train, car, or carpool? Do you consider yourself a good driver? Have you ever received a speeding ticket? Have cars or driving ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? How much time do you spend on the phone every day?
Do you have a cell phone? Do you belong to any Internet chat groups? Do you spend significant time each day writing c-mails? Do you have an unlisted telephone number? Do you consider yourself a communicator or a private person? What are the circumstances under which you would not answer the telephone, cell phone, or BlackBerry?
Has modem communication ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Do you like to eat most of your meals sitting at the table, or do you tend to eat on the run?
Do you love to cook? Do you love to eat? When you were growing up, was it important that everybody be present for dinner? Do you follow a specific diet regimen that limits your food choices? Do you expect others in your household to adhere to certain dietary restrictions? In your family is food ever used as a bribe or a proof of love?
QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY
Has eating ever been a source of shame for you? Have eating and food ever been a source of tension and stress in a relationship? Have they ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Are there household responsibilities you believe to be the sole domain of a man or a woman? Why do you believe this? Do you believe that marriages are stronger if a woman defers to her husband in most areas? Do you need to feel either in control or taken care of?
How important is equality in a marriage? Do you believe that roles in your family should be filled by the person best equipped for the job, even if it is an unconventional arrangement? How did your family view the roles of girls and boys, men and women? In your family; could anyone do any job as long as it got done well?
Have different ideas about gender roles ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or the cause of a breakup? What did you learn about race and ethnic differences as a child? Which of those beliefs from childhood do you still carry; and which have you shed? Does your work environment look more like the United Nations, or like a mirror of yourself?
How about your personal life? How would you feel if your child dated someone of a different race or ethnicity? How would you feel if he or she married this person? Are you aware of your own biases regarding race and ethnicity? Would you rather be rich and miserable or poor and happy? Who will make the biggest decisions of the household? What would you do if someone said something bad about me?
Would you follow the advice of your family before your spouse? What do you believe the role of a wife is? Who should do household chores? What do you believe the role of a husband is? Handling Finances Money, debt, and finances are important things to talk about before marriage.
How do you feel about debt? Would you share all money with your spouse or split the money into different accounts? What are your views on saving money? What are your views on spending money? What if we both want something but can't afford both? How well do you budget? Do you feel it is important to save for retirement? Would you be willing to get a second job if we had financial problems?
Do you have any debt? What if a family member wants to borrow a large sum of money? Who will take care of the financial matters of the household? Entertainment Don't forget to have fun. Find out what your future spouse thinks by including some entertainment and lifestyle points in your list of questions for couples. Do you enjoy traveling? How often would you like to travel? Where would you like to travel?
How important is spending time alone to you? How would you feel about me going on a trip with the girls boys for a couple of weeks? How important is spending time with friends to you? What would be the perfect weekday evening to you? What would we do if we both had a break from work, but each of us had different ideas on how to spend it? Extended Family Include some family and relation inquiries among the questions to ask your partner. How often would you want to visit your family? How often will your family visit us?
How often would you want my family to visit? How often would you want to visit my family? Do you have a family history of diseases or genetic abnormalities?
What if one of your family members said he disliked me? How would you handle holiday family visits? If your parents became ill, would you take them in? If my parents became ill, would you mind taking them in? Medical Information Family and personal medical information are questions you should ask your future husband or wife. Does anyone in your family suffer from alcoholism?
What is your medical family history? Would you be opposed to mental health treatment? If I had to change my diet because of medical concerns, would you be willing to change yours? Are you willing to exercise with me to improve our health? Where do you want to live?
Would you mind moving if I had to relocate with my job? About the Relationship and Marriage topics to talk about might be a lot, but you can learn a lot from questions -- including what your future partner thinks about marriage and relationships. What would you do if we fell out of love? What are your career aspirations? What would you like to be doing five or ten years from now?
What do you think is the best way to keep the love alive in a marriage? How do you think life will change if we got married? What is the best thing about marriage? What is the worst thing about marriage? What is your idea of the best weekend?
How important are wedding anniversaries to you? How would you like to spend special days?